The Most Powerful Method For Personal Growth
What's the most effective way for one to become better? It’s a question that’s been on my mind for years, maybe even decades. With all the books, articles, and advice on personal growth that I’ve sifted through, it seems like there are endless ways to approach it, each promising the one and only answer you'll ever need.
But over time, I’ve noticed one thing that feels like a thread running through it all: the impact certain ideas have on me and, more importantly, my reactions to them.
I’ve come to believe that paying attention to these reactions might be the clearest guide to finding a growth path that feels genuinely “me.” When something strikes a nerve, when a passage or concept sticks with me long after reading it, it feels like a signal—an opportunity to dig deeper and uncover why it stirs something within me. In a sense, noticing these reactions helps me to understand what resonates most deeply and what might be worth pursuing further.
This is where Carl Jung’s ideas about the shadow self come in. Jung famously described our shadows as the parts of ourselves we tend to ignore or even outright reject. They are the traits, impulses, and feelings that we might not want to admit to, the parts that we feel uneasy about and often pretend don’t exist.
Yet Jung’s insight was that these shadows aren’t just random outliers or inconveniences to hide away; they’re actually essential. They hold a mirror to the things we need to address, and if we’re willing to face them, they offer valuable insights into who we really are.
When these shadows come up, they’re often uncomfortable—making us feel things that clash with how we see ourselves or with the values we think we hold dear.
But I’ve found that instead of being alarmed by these unsettling reactions, there’s power in acknowledging them, even welcoming them. By leaning in, I start to see that these shadows aren’t enemies. Instead, they’re part of a whole picture that reveals strengths, needs, and even gifts that I hadn’t fully seen before.
I’m slowly learning to view these triggered responses as my unconscious reaching out, trying to communicate. Rather than seeing the shadow as something to wrestle with or repress, I’m trying to treat it as an invitation to explore a part of me that’s been overlooked, perhaps with hidden potential I hadn’t previously considered.
It’s not always easy, and it takes work to hold space for things that feel contradictory or even a little unsettling. But every time I take a step back and pay attention to these reactions, I feel a little closer to what Carl Jung described as individuation—an integration of all the parts of oneself.
So, this journey of self-understanding continues, but with a more open mind to the unexpected and an appreciation for the complexities within. In the end, it’s less about finding a single “correct” path to personal growth and more about responding to my own reactions, allowing them to guide me toward a fuller, more genuine understanding of myself.